Are You Suffering from Roommate Phase in your Relationships?

We’ve all heard of the honeymoon phase in a relationship, characterized by passion, excitement, and the thrill of new love. But what is the roommate phase of a relationship? This stage often emerges after the initial euphoria has faded, leading partners to settle into a more routine and comfortable coexistence. During this time, the focus shifts from romantic gestures to the everyday realities of living together, which can sometimes feel more like roommates than lovers. Read on to know if you’ve hit that stage!

What is the Roommate Phase of a Relationship?

The “roommate phase” is when you and your partner have become more like buddies living under the same roof than romantic partners. Managing bills, dividing chores, rearing children and coping with taxing careers takes up most of your time and effort.

It is a zone that is often overlooked or not spoken about openly. In this phase, two souls that were once, madly, crazily and inseparably glued to each other, so lost in love, slowly disconnect emotionally. Passionate moments on the couch have come down to where one is watching TV and the other is meddling with their phone. Meaningful deep conversations have changed into mundane tasks, usual routines and habits.

Read More: What does it mean to be in a Platonic Relationship?

Signs of Roommate Phase

Here are some signs that you might be in the roommate phase-

• Reduced physical intimacy: romance and intimacy has gone down. You might give a handshake or a hug once in a while. That’s about it. There’s no real intimacy between you both. When was the last time you passionately kissed? You don’t have an answer to this question. Because it wasn’t yesterday or the day before. It was ages ago! You don’t even hold hands, cuddle or make out anymore. When asked to describe your sex life- the words that come out are, barely! Rarely!
• Emotional disconnect: there is more silence than laughter. Communication is for conveying information rather than fostering romance or an emotional
  connection. You both have become indifferent to each other and also to your dying intimacy.
• Quality time: me time you don’t spend the little time you get with your partner. You don’t do any activity together, instead you do different activities
  separately. Your schedules are such that, you don’t even dine together like before.
• Routine in, romance out: you don’t playfully flirt or pull each other’s leg. Your conversation is about, a grocery list, the trash can and electricity bills rather than an adventurous date night.
• Building frustration: you and your partner harbour anger and resentment that’s been boiling inside for a long time now.

Read More: Managing the Transition from Roommates to Partners in Marriage

What leads to Roommate Syndrome?

• Change in priorities.
• Neglecting intimacy.
• Having no quality time.
• Lack of communication.
• Overwhelming stress and responsibilities.
• Complacency- taking each other for granted.
• Falling into a trap of monotony and routines.
• Other reasons- illness, hormonal problems, accidents.
• Criticisms, nagging and judgements increase day by day.

Getting over the Roommate Stage

To overcome the roommate syndrome in a relationship, you have to rekindle intimacy and emotional connection that’s buried under the insipid monotony of life. Here are some effective strategies:

• Quality time with your spouse: make sure you spend some time every day and also plan date nights or activities that you both enjoy. Look into their eyes, practice eye gazing now and then to fall for them all over again. Your jobs are demanding and burnout is very common too. Take some time off and plan a small trip. Because a new place means a new vibe with sweet old memories and a lot of love and laughter. ( When and where is your next trip?)
• Open communication: Discuss your feelings with your partner. Share what you miss and what you’d like to change, creating a space for honest dialogue. Aspirations, fears, hopes, unsaid desires, pour out to your partner. One heartfelt chat over a cup of tea can open up doors to rebuilding the lost emotional connection.
• Welcome nostalgia: reflect on your relationship, how you both met, what attracted you both to one another and how you proposed. Looking at
  your old photos together can initiate conversation surrounding your relationship and the changes it has gone through over the years.
• Spice up your sex life: physical intimacy is as important as emotional intimacy. Know your partner’s needs and convey yours. Sexual frustration
  can lead to anxiety, irritability and longing, which may negatively affect your overall mental health.
• Become playful: surprise your spouse with an unexpected gift, share jokes and gossip from the office, and make cute harmless pranks to lighten the mood. Keep your inner child alive and that would naturally keep your relationship alive and thriving.
• Seek excitement: try out new restaurants, or a new sport together. Going hiking, cooking together, doing yoga, or taking dance classes together can help you bond again.

Trying these things can help you come out of that stagnant feeling and connect better with your partner.

Read More: Importance of Emotional Vulnerability in Relationship

If you and your partner find it exhausting to reignite the spark, try out couples therapy as a professional can provide you with tools and techniques to improve your situation. Rekindling and reconnecting with your partner is important to bring back that spark in your relationship. After all, love, marriage and relationships involve lots of effort. André Maurois, a French author said, “A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.” Are you ready to put in some effort today? Go love a little more than yesterday!

FAQs

1. Is roommate syndrome a common issue?

• Yes, it is a common challenge in long-term relationships, especially as life stresses and responsibilities increase.

2. What role does intimacy play in preventing roommate syndrome?

• A very important role indeed! Maintaining physical and emotional intimacy is crucial for fostering connection and preventing partners from drifting apart.

3. Can roommate syndrome happen in new relationships?

• While it’s more common in long-term relationships, new couples can also experience it if they fall into a routine without prioritizing connection.