Why Silence Sometimes makes us Feel Uncomfortable

Feel the silence as you visualise the Following scenarios: 

1. Standing in an elevator among strangers, avoiding eye contact 
2. A pause during a heated argument 
3. Someone forgetting their elocution speech 
4. Actors taking a dramatic emotional pause 

We experience silence or pauses or quietness in our daily lives where social interactions take place. But it is also experienced in personal contexts like depression, anxiety. Some people take it as a healthy pause while for others it is awkward. Silence arises from some societal circumstances. Simple notion of silence is when the pause in the interaction goes beyond 3 seconds as per research it makes us uncomfortable. 

Have you ever experienced the quietness of villages at night? 

If so, it’s a peaceful chance to embrace the sounds of nature. But most of the time people from urban areas visit such places for fun and end up disturbing the original sound of the ecosystem. It can be a real life example of how humans feel uncomfortable in silence or feel the urge to break the silence. Social expectations, emotional experiences, cultural backgrounds, and even mental health are all reasons. 

1. Social pressure of being an extrovert 

Most of us learn early on that maintaining the conversation is a key component of effective communication. We discover that communication is the means of self-expression, connection, and curiosity. Therefore, it may seem as though something is amiss when there is a gap or silence in a conversation. 

Psychologist Erving Goffman came up with the term “interaction-consciousness”, i.e. we become more conscious and try to fill the gap between the pauses. As Steinbock (2014) highlighted, even short gaps make us feel uncomfortable. The habit of over-analysis takes place, and it leads to self-doubts like “Did I say something wrong?” or “Are they losing interest?” This anxiety makes silence feel heavy and uncomfortable, even if it’s not meant to be. 

2. Silence gives feelings like rejection. 

In the pandemic, people experienced social rejection and realised the importance of belonging, love, and social acceptance. According to Koudenburg et al. (2011), people feel left out because of silence, even though it is a short period of silence. Research found out that smooth give and take of the thoughts through conversation completes the need of being heard and being accepted. But if any big pause interferes with the flow, then it can affect our sense of self-perception. In this way, silence is the way of communication where we get the idea whether we are included or not. 

3. Inner layer of silence 

Reflection is another notion of silence, where sometimes it reflects internal emotions. In his study of depression, Dan Degerman (2025) explains how people with depression often experience a “void”. This is beyond the expression of thoughts. These people feel emotional numbness and do not feel connected with others. Their loved ones witness this kind of silence more uncomfortably. Because they don’t clearly understand it through their usual perspective of constant expressiveness and it creates emotional uneasiness. 

4. Silence gives mixed signals 

William (2001) wrote in his book that ignorance is more painful than verbal conflicts. The silent treatment can be used as a punishment, a protective shield. As Dat Bao (2023) also highlights, it can act as a protest or a form of strength. This ambiguous part of long-term quietness makes us uncomfortable. Only questions are left with us, and this lack of clarity creates confusion. 

5. Cultural norms create the reaction toward silence 

As Bao points out, silence depends on cultural norms. In Japanese culture, for example, the concept of “ma” values the pause between sounds as meaningful and reflective. Silence depends on cultural beliefs. In many Western cultures, people find it more awkward and unproductive. 

Benefits of Silence 

• Mindfulness: Whenever we take a pause and think about the present situation it shows us a clear picture. In interviews, we can come up with better responses which are more authentic. Ultimately, it leads to better decision making ability. 
• Improves sleep quality: Environmental noise disturbs the quality of sleep. It disrupts the entire sleep cycle and affects physiologically. Even when we are in our beauty sleep, we unconsciously respond to noise that triggers stress hormones in our brains. So absence of sound is very important to enter into deep sleep.
• Silence keeps us healthy: If we are working along with background noise, it elevates our adverse physiological functioning, like releasing stress hormones, high blood pressure, and excessive sweating. Because noise interferes with complex task performance, modifies social behaviour and causes annoyance.

Conclusion 

Silence has a voice, but only if we listen and give space to it. Either it will be a healthy one or an awkward one. Usually, it makes us uncomfortable because it breaks the flow of conversation, gives fear of rejection and reflects deeper emotional chaos. Indian philosophy of spirituality gives lessons on meditation. It is where we can be aware and become powerful through silence, it also teaches us how to be comfortable with others’ silence. It can connect us with others, make us aware of our surroundings. 

FAQs 

1. Why does being quiet make people uncomfortable? 

Silence makes people uncomfortable when it lingers longer in the conversation. It breaks the flow of communication and this discontinuation is associated with self-doubts, social anxiety, lower level of self esteem. But our reaction to it is dependent on how we interpret the negative or positive connotation of silence. That’s why it makes us uncomfortable if we do not use mindfulness in our daily lives of social engagement. 

2. How do you break uncomfortable silence? 

Firstly, we must understand the importance of silence and it is not necessary to feel the urgency to break it. We must reflect on others and our own pauses to respond mindfully. Still, we can restart the conversation while asking a question like “what you thought about it?” or we can use humour. 

3. What is Silence in psychology? 

Silence is the nonverbal construct that carries multiple meanings. Silence is the absence of intentional sound or minimal words. It is another way of communication which we can use as a powerful tool to interact nonverbally in situations like protest, show resistance, or disagreement. It depends on the various social or personal contexts. Mostly, it was studied about social behaviour.