10 Signs That You Are A Perfectionist, According to Psychology

Perfectionism is often viewed as something that is overwhelming or something that needs to be changed. While this may be true to some extent, perfectionism can also be a gift. It can be described as a personality trait that motivates a person to pursue bigger things and strive for excellence. One needs to find a balance and be able to clearly differentiate between healthy and unhealthy attributes.

No one can ever be absolutely perfect in anything and everything they do, and there always seems to be a scope for improvement. Is perfectionism really the ideal that one should be aiming for? While it may help to learn and grow, it may also have some pitfalls. These include high levels of stress and anxiety that may further lead to sleep disturbances, eating disorders, and depression.

The downsides of perfectionism make it challenging to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships, have open communication, shift from one task to another, and even accomplish activities of daily living. Let’s see 10 signs that point towards perfectionism and how they may affect your everyday life. These effects could be both positive and negative. Moderation is the key to maintaining a perfect balance.

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Signs of Perfectionism

Below are a few signs that might indicate that you have perfectionistic tendencies:-

1. You Set High Standards

People who want themselves to be perfect envision goals that are more complex, detailed, mature, and perhaps more creative. In children, this trait can be observed through their relationships. They tend to have a closer relationship with people closer to their mental age rather than their chronological age. High standards can motivate success and lead to overall growth.

It makes you think outside the box and pushes you beyond the ordinary and mundane. These high standards help you to aim higher and achieve your desired goals. You learn many things along the way and apply your abstract thinking skills to find solutions. On the other hand, setting high standards can also mean setting unrealistic expectations of yourself.

When you set unrealistic expectations, it is more likely to fall short and get demotivated in the process. Perfectionists are also likely to associate their self-worth with the outcomes of their actions, which might further be hampered due to this tendency. It might ultimately lead to chronic dissatisfaction, affecting physical and mental well-being. It is more effective to break down a big goal into smaller and more achievable goals. It makes the whole process easier and accessible and keeps up the level of your motivation.

Read More: 10 Subtle Signs of Highly Creative People, According to Psychology

2. You Have A Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is one of the socially driven components that leads to perfectionistic tendencies in people. It might be viewed in a positive light because fear of failure is what motivates you to do better and find unique and creative solutions to your problems. Moderate levels of this fear can help you to build resilience and improve your problem-solving skills.

This fear of failure here can be paralyzing and utterly humiliating for some people and hence, their hunger for achieving higher never ends. Excessive and constant fear might also lead to anxiety, giving rise to various somatic (bodily) symptoms like digestive issues, lack of sleep, loss or gain of appetite, weight issues, etc. It may also be perceived as a distorted sense of self where a person believes they are worthy only if they succeed and failure is not an option at all.

It creates a highly pressured environment which is extremely unhealthy and unproductive. Moreover, fear of failure might also lead to procrastination, leading to the belief that they won’t fail a task if they don’t start it in the first place. It is a sign of conditional self-worth and viewing failure as destruction and a completely irreversible event.

Read More: Why we fear Failure and How to Overcome it, According to Psychology

3. You Pay Attention to Detail

Focusing on the crucial details is essential to obtain the desired outcome. It can be helpful in various areas of life like academic, professional, and creativity. Moreover, it also ensures the accuracy of your tasks, decreases mistakes, and improves the quality of your outcomes. It leads to increased productivity. There are various professions, like surgeons, detectives, and psychologists, that require this skill to be successful.

When you prioritize precision, you make sure that there is no room for error. Thus, you don’t have to repeat or recheck the task. Therefore, it might save you the time of going over the task repeatedly. However, excessive attention to detail might make you lose sight of what is essential and what needs to be prioritized. It might save you the time of going over the task repeatedly, but it won’t help if you do not complete the task at all.

Fixing the details might also increase stress and frustration due to the inability to finish the job. It may lead to overanalysis, incapability to stick to deadlines, and delayed progress. It might be a manifestation of something profound, like the need to be in control or act in an orderly manner. 

Read More: Do You Think You Work Better Under Pressure?

4. You Struggle With Delegation

Delegation can be defined as assigning a task to other people. It requires you to trust the other person with the job that is important to you. Perfectionists usually have problems with assigning the job to anybody else because they think that the other person might not do it well or ruin it completely. Perfectionists tend to set a particular standard for everything they do, and they fear that this standard might not be met by the person they have delegated the task to.

They are, therefore, sceptical about assigning work to anybody else and feel the need to accomplish everything on their own. It can lead to overwork, exhaustion, and burnout. Moreover, it can also lead to strained interpersonal relationships since the attribute of mistrust affects other areas of life. It is deeply rooted in the fear of losing control and lack of faith in others.

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5. You Engage in Extreme Self-Criticism

Perfectionists are very critical of themselves. They always fear that they did not do enough and they could have worked harder. While constructive self-criticism might make you point out your errors and fix them as well as lead to overall improvement and growth, harsh self-criticism leads to lower morale, demotivation, and exhaustion. It might also make you question your self-worth since this attribute often makes you feel inadequate. 

When a person is constantly criticizing themselves, they forget to celebrate their achievements. There is always a ‘but’. For example, I bought an apartment but it is not spacious enough. Buying an apartment is an achievement and should be celebrated as such. Being self-critical makes you miss the little joys of life. A person is in constant self-doubt and keeps checking and then rechecking everything they do. 

It might stem from past failures or extreme criticism from parents or guardians. Here, practising self-compassion and gratitude can be helpful. They help you to stay grounded, view failures as setbacks, and incorporate the feedback for improvement. It can also help with focusing on individual strengths and how to use them to one’s benefit. Moreover, it helps to build resilience and helps to bounce back from adversity.

Read More: Exploring Self-Concept, Authenticity, and Self-Esteem in Humanistic Psychology

6. You Have Defensive Tendencies

Perfectionists might be highly self-critical but become defensive when criticized by others. They are not good at accepting criticism, even if it is constructive. They may view it as an attack on their self-worth. They are very rigid in their ways and, hence, get sensitive when change is hinted at. Constructive feedback is necessary for overall growth, development, and self-improvement.

This over-sensitivity can also cause emotional distress and overthinking of the slightest hint of criticism from someone. Furthermore, it limits one’s ability to learn and grow since a perfectionist always tends to avoid facing any kind of feedback, be it positive or negative. Here, fear of rejection or fear of failure might play a key role. The emotional impact of criticism is heavier for perfectionists, and hence, it affects their self-worth. This impact can be managed through meditation, mindfulness, and self-compassion. These techniques may help in relaxation and provide help with going easy on oneself.

Read More: The Connection Between Mindfulness and Success 

7. You Avoid Challenges

Despite trying to be perfect in everything they do, perfectionists often seem to withdraw themselves from challenges. They do not want to engage in activities where success is not guaranteed. This tendency might also have positive effects, like avoiding unnecessary risks, getting provoked by others, and maintaining a consistent standard of work.

Sometimes, it is alright to be reluctant to engage in needless tasks. However, not taking up challenges at all leads to stagnation. Challenges are one of the significant ways to learn and grow through personal experiences. One might miss out on good opportunities due to this reluctance to take up new challenges. It might also negatively impact self-worth since not being able to compete might foster feelings of inadequacy.

One might never think out of the box and stick to mediocrity since they are afraid to step outside their comfort zone. They might also never be able to recognize and achieve their full potential. Avoidance of challenges may be the result of fear of judgment. A perfectionist never wants people to view their actions as inadequate or incorrect. Here, gradually building confidence while restructuring negative beliefs is crucial for overall development and growth.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Growth and Development

8. You Stick To The Rules, No Matter What

Adhering to rules is a good sign. It means that you have respect for everyone around you and you consider all people as your equals. You do not view yourself as superior to or better than them. A perfectionist might find it very hard to deviate from rules and they stick to the provided guidelines as long as necessary. It ensures consistency, precision, and good quality of work.

It also ensures that you do not step outside the line by making certain that everyone is provided with equal and same opportunities.  Over-reliance on rules might stagnate your creativity and abstract thinking. Thinking in straight lines only might lead to a lack of adaptability and poor problem-solving skills. It can lead to frustration, especially when you see others taking an innovative and novel approach to the same or similar tasks.

This tendency stems from the belief that if one follows the rules religiously, no one will be able to question the success of their outcome and hence there will be no criticism from others. It is also done to minimize the uncertainties and ultimately avoid challenges.

Read More: 10 Effective Strategies to Battle Procrastination, According to Psychology

9. You Persevere In The Face of Adversity

Perseverance is an admirable quality categorized by the continuous effort towards one’s goal despite setbacks and criticisms. People who have this quality believe that effort and hard work can outdo luck. It is a powerful attribute that helps you to build resilience, overcome obstacles, and keep working towards your ultimate goal. This factor is very helpful in achieving long-term goals.

The dedication found in perfectionists leads to good-quality results and outcomes. They do not depend on external factors such as luck or help from others to execute their plans. However, when perseverance is not managed properly, it leads to working long hours beyond the point of functionality. It further leads to inefficiency, burnout, and ultimately to diminished and poor results. One might believe that excessive efforts equals better results and that might not necessarily be true.

Read More: 10 Subtle Signs that shows you are a Natural Problem Solver, According to Psychology

10. You Constantly Compare Your Achievements

There are two types of comparisons: upwards comparison, which makes you compare yourself with someone you think is superior to you, and downwards comparison, which makes you compare yourself with someone who has achieved less than you. Upward comparison helps you set your standards accordingly, and downward comparison helps you remain grounded and grateful for what you have.

While it can lead to self-improvement, belongingness, and gratitude, it can also lead to envy, jealousy, and self-doubt. Constantly comparing might make it difficult to recognize one’s talents, strengths, and achievements. Negative comparison can be managed with strategies like limiting social media usage, maintaining a gratitude journal, and focusing on holistic growth rather than comparison.

Social comparison theory, developed by social psychologist Leon Festinger, explains the causes and effects of comparing yourself with others. 

Read More: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Doubt and Negative Thinking

Overcoming Perfectionism

While there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting perfection, everything is problematic when it becomes excessive and starts to interfere with your activities of daily living. When you begin to exhibit symptoms like disrupted sleep patterns, lack of concentration on anything else, drastic changes in appetite, lack of personal hygiene, and hampered interpersonal relationships, it is a sign to recognize the abnormal patterns in routines and behaviours and work towards functionality. Some of the many ways to manage this include

• Break your goals into smaller and more manageable goals. Manageable and achievable goals help you to maintain motivation and not lose hope when you are unable to achieve big goals. Moreover, celebrate these small successes. 
• Try not to be too hard on yourself. Perceive everything as a learning opportunity and be open to challenges and criticism. Practice self-compassion and give yourself breaks whenever required. Treat yourself like you would a close friend experiencing similar difficulties.
• Do not engage in black-and-white thinking. Not everything is about winning or losing. Understand the importance of the journey and grab as many learning opportunities as you can. When you engage in all-or-nothing thinking, you might constantly be at a loss of self-worth.
• If you feel that your perfectionism is leading you to a dysfunctional pattern of living, reach out for professional help. Therapists can help you more effectively with personalized processes to deal with your issues successfully. Moreover, they can also guide you in dealing with similar future matters. 
• Focus on overall development and not just the end goal. Do not think in a straight line, but rather be open to all the opportunities that come along your way. Being goal-oriented is a good trait, but not focusing on anything else might make you lose sight of what is really important, which is the learning process.

Conclusion

Perfectionism is a very complex attribute in a human being. While it is generally viewed in a negative light, it doesn’t always have to be bad. When at moderate levels, it can help you maintain consistent results, give high-quality results, and spot errors. On the other hand, if it gets excessive, it can lead to physical symptoms like loss of sleep, appetite issues, and headaches. When you understand the psychology behind perfection, it becomes easier to deal with its negative effects and use it to enhance your productivity and overall development. 

FAQs

1. Does being a perfectionist have to do anything with your past experiences?

Yes, perfectionistic tendencies might stem from past experiences like failures, inability to control anything, and having unreliable people around you. However, it is not necessary, and this tendency can be discarded through various strategies if it hampers any area of your life.

2. Is perfectionistic behaviour a problematic tendency?

It is not interpretive for perfectionism to be necessarily a negative trait. It has various advantages like accuracy, attention to detail, higher quality of results, and perseverance. It becomes problematic if these tendencies exceed more than normal levels.

3. Can I overcome this tendency without professional help?

Yes, in numerous cases, it is possible for an individual to overcome the negative attributes of perfectionism. This can be done with the help of practices like mindfulness, breaking down your goals into manageable ones, and practising self-compassion. However, if you still struggle or do not know where to start and how to go about it, it is best to reach out for help.