What is the most overrated concept after love? It is happiness- a word that, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, refers to the feeling of being happy. But what defines this feeling and how does one measure one’s level of happiness? More importantly, how can people achieve happiness? While the Internet might be flooded with answers to these questions, the truth is happiness is unachievable at all times or most of the time. This becomes even more obvious when one tries hard to be happy without acknowledging the actual emotions that the person might be experiencing.
Meaning of Happiness in Psychology
Happiness is viewed by psychologists as a fleeting state of mind that is acquired by individuals differently. That is, different people will have different reasons to feel happy. Additionally, this state of mind does not exist permanently. It is expected to change with the appearance of a subjectively viewed unpleasant event. In simpler terms, happiness, as per psychology, is not a permanent state of mind. However, it is an important state to be in.
Read More: The Psychology of Happiness
Why is Being “Happy” So Important?
Happiness, as it turns out, plays a significant role in various aspects of one’s life. For instance, happy people are more likely to succeed in their careers. They are expected to maintain good physical health. Prosocial behaviours are more common in them. They are also a better company to seek.
What Happens When People Are Not Happy?
The outcomes of unhappiness can be determined from the benefits of happiness. That is,
- They might find it difficult to achieve career goals
- They might repel people due to their inability to offer a positive support system to others
- Their life expectancy is also found to be low as a result of their poor mental and physical health
- They might be too focused on their lives with little to no time left to engage in welfare programs for others
- They might struggle with their physical health by being in a constant state of mental discomfort and subsequent stress
Read More: Happiness and its Relation with Long Life
Should Happiness Be Then Termed As An Ultimate Goal?
Happiness does have various contributions to make to people’s lives. According to psychologists, happiness reflects a person’s satisfaction with his/her life. It shows whether or not people are experiencing positive emotions. Happiness is different from pleasure; it is not dependent on the momentary satisfaction of needs. Rather, it is a feeling that can even result from imaginary achievements.
But it might not be ideal to make it the ultimate goal of one’s life. The reason behind this is the difficulty in experiencing positive emotions under all circumstances. It is true that the emotions that people experience are shaped by their perception of events. Focusing on the positive aspects of a situation can help in experiencing positive emotions. But how easy or feasible is this?
An event that is supposed to make one feel angry will evoke negative emotions, no matter what. The person might make efforts to amend his/her behaviour and come up with positive reactions, but this would mean suppressing the actual emotion without resolving it. In other words, if people discard emotions other than happiness that are also a part of their lives, they will end up embracing the state of denial.
Read More: The Psychology of Money and Happiness
Limitations of The Happiness Goal
Happiness is regarded by positive psychology as subjective well-being. This means the things that stand for “happiness” for person A might have no meaning to person B. This justifies the variety of goals that people set and the different paths they create to achieve them. But one thing that remains common in them is the effort to feel happy.
But should one term oneself “negative” if he/she is not able to feel positive in a particular situation? Failing to achieve something is likely to cause disappointment in people. Losing something or someone held dear is likely to cause grief. But should the goal be to move on and feel happy by all means without addressing the underlying emotions? Probably not, as this would cause more harm to one’s mental health.
Read More: Psychology behind intense emotions
Alternative Approach to Happiness Concept
According to psychologist Steven C. Hayes, society has taught people to discard unpleasant experiences and accept only the pleasant ones. Behaviors and experiences that are traditionally regarded as “positive” are the only ones that people are taught to embrace. This results in an undying effort to get rid of emotions like sadness, anger, and the likes.
The problem with this approach is that people are forced to feel ashamed when they experience anything other than happiness or positivity. They keep reminding one another how important it is to have a smile on the face and joy in the heart. But what if one does not feel so? Well, it is then a problem that needs to be fixed!
But when has life been a joyful ride? Chances are it never will be. People are bound to come across events that they find unpleasant. These events, in turn, are bound to create discomfort in them. The goal then should not be to avoid those emotions but, instead, to accept their existence. This can help in making peace with oneself and achieve well-being in the true sense.
When one accepts one’s vulnerabilities and shows compassion towards the self, one can find ways to overcome the discomforts without suppressing them. Moreover, this approach is capable of building more resilience in people as it teaches them to face unwanted thoughts and emotions as they are without masking them with different emotions. Hence, it might be more appropriate to redefine happiness as a state of mind that results from acceptance of oneself and one’s actual emotions.
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