Psychology of Self-Criticism

We have all had that annoying voice in our head constantly berating us. Haunting us with a voice repeating “You are not enough”. That berating voice inside our head hurts more than anyone else insulting us. While this happens rarely for most, for some, it is as common as breathing. Imagine waking up and the first thing that you hear while looking in the mirror is how you won’t succeed. This is the routine reality for those who practice self-criticism. Sounds utterly horrifying to live with every second, no? 

Breakfast starts with a side dish of “you are worthless” ending with dinner and a cup of “you wasted another day”. How infuriating this voice is! Unfortunately, it’s not much different from a mosquito at 3 am constantly buzzing in your ear, not letting you sleep. No matter how much you try, the voice just does not go away. So what is the psychology behind self-criticism? Let’s explore. 

Read More: The Psychology Behind Success

What Is Self Criticism?

For most individuals, bullies are present in their immediate environment. However, for some, they are their own biggest bully. They don’t need others to scrutinize them, they do it themselves. It is a never-ending, vicious cycle that can only lead to one’s downfall. Self-criticism can be defined as a tendency to direct negative, harsh, and critical thoughts towards oneself (Holle & Ingram, 2008). It involves holding oneself to an unrealistic standard and negatively berating yourself when you fall short of it. Victims of self-criticism excessively blame themselves for everything. Be it unpredicted rain, they will find some way to blame themselves for the weathercast being wrong. Self-criticism is the enemy of mental health. Shooting it down, raining bullets on it with every poisonous word. 

Psychology Behind Self-criticism: 

Well, naturally, nobody wants to cheer for their own downfall. So why do people fall into this pattern? As children, we internalize the information in the environment around us. The first source of information being our parents, often also our first teachers. We quickly learn to criticise ourselves to avoid further criticism from our parents or teachers. Children learn to criticise themselves to correct their mistakes before their parents do. Apart from childhood internalizing, other factors include: 

• Criticizing yourself helped you overcome a challenge at least once. 
• It serves as a coping mechanism. People believe that by berating themselves for past mistakes, they can reduce the impact of their actions. Unfortunately, what is done can not be undone, no matter how much a person tries to cope with it.
• A fear of becoming satisfied with failure. Most are scared that if they don’t criticise themselves for their mistakes, then they won’t be able to do their best and aim higher. They engage in self-criticism in an attempt to boost their motivation, but this approach can often have negative effects. 
• People who have a habit of criticising themselves often do it because they are not happy with how they are right now. They want to change and believe that through some harsh words, we can line our behaviours to be more like the people around us (Kelly, 2019). 

Effects of self-criticism on mental health: 

It is pretty easy to imagine that self-criticism does not have the best impact on mental health. It can quickly spiral down into a hard-to-break pattern of thinking. Some ways it can impact mental health include: 

1. Poor Self-esteem: Constantly blaming yourself for everything definitely doesn’t do wonders for one’s mental health for sure. Excessive criticism can affect how a person views themselves and their capability to achieve something. 
2. Mental Disorders: Self-criticism can easily take a pathological route. In fact, it is one of the characteristics of depression just in a milder form. Excessive criticism can also become a source of anxiety. If left untreated, depression and anxiety disorders become a part of one’s life. 
3. Fear Of Failure: If you are constantly criticizing yourself, how will you find the courage to start something new? Excessive self-blaming can prevent individuals from trying new things and taking on challenges due to fear of failing (Chaudhery-Malgeri, 2024). 
4. Poor Relationships: continuously blaming yourself can prevent you from forming healthy relationships. An individual might constantly live in fear of doing something wrong, preventing them from making meaningful relationships. 
5. Disconnect Between Thought And Reality: Your negative thoughts may be further away from reality than what you make them out to be. The critical voice inside our mind is harsher than reality at times. In the long run, it can affect how accurately we perceive reality. 

Overcoming Self-Criticism: 

Don’t let the thought of self-criticism lead to further negative self-talk. Here are some practical tips to avoid being your own bully: 

• Recognize Your Strengths: Start by understanding your strengths and acknowledging your achievements. Maybe try some journalling prompts to make this journey easier.
• Take Regular Breaks: Dedicate time towards taking breaks to just do nothing. Self-criticism can lead to a belief that you need to constantly be on your toes. Take 15 minutes to do nothing in particular, maybe even just stare at the fan spinning around.
• Avoid Comparison: Comparing yourself with others is a big no. No matter how much you try to convince yourself, comparing yourself has no competitive benefits. Avoid comparing yourselves with others, as what you see is not always the reality. 
• Avoid Perfectionism: Nothing in life can attain the title of true perfection, so why chase after it? Aim for the best not perfect. Allow yourself space to make mistakes and you will see that they are not as scary as you think they are (Gulotta, 2022). 
• Talk To A Therapist: If you believe that self-criticism is stopping you from reaching your best potential, then try talking to a therapist. Therapists and counsellors are equipped with various tools to help you overcome this challenge. Through help with therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy, you can overcome unrealistic negative thoughts. 

Nobody enjoys being their own bully. Self-criticism can be self-sabotaging and harmful, stopping a person from even trying to be their best. However, it can be hard to overcome that voice inside your head that constantly has something against you. It is important to remember that this voice is yours and you have control over it. You have the power to transform this voice from an annoying insult to an encouraging poem. With small steps, you can overcome this challenge and someday free yourself from this voice we call self-criticism. 

FAQs

1. What is Self-Criticism in psychology? 

Self-criticism is defined as the tendency to engage in negative self-talk and evaluation that results in feelings of failure, worthlessness and guilt when a high standard of expectations that are unrealistic are not met. 

2. What is the root cause of Self-Criticism? 

Research indicated that childhood experiences are associated with self-criticism and later a self-critical personality in adulthood. Overly critical parents and child maltreatment is also associated with depression which in turn leads to more guilt and negative self-talk.

3. What is the best strategy for Self-Criticism? 

Practising mindfulness is the best way to prevent unnecessary blaming. Mindfulness is the practice of simply allowing your emotions or thoughts to appear and pass without judgment, helping an individual let go of those negative thoughts. Through regular practice, you will find it easier to focus on more positive aspects of your life. 

4. Is Self-Criticism a bad habit? 

Self-criticism can take a significant toll on your mental health eventually affecting your physical; health. It can lead to heightened levels of stress and anxiety. An ongoing and never ending cycle of internal pressure to meet unrealistic standards can lead to a cycle of continuous tension and worry.