Breakups: Breakdown or wake up?

Breakups: Breakdown or wake up?

“I had a frabjous breakup!

I would like to experience one breakup every week.”

Said no one, ever.

Breakups are supposed to make you feel like crap. It is hard to deal with because the mind and body go through withdrawal. Like drug addiction, we become addicted to love.

 But the good thing is, you can still choose to handle it gracefully.

 Discussing breakup can be endless. Therefore, I wish to rub my shoulders narrowly on the two “contrasting perceptions” towards it.

Time to Breakdown?

Breakups stimulate pain to notify us how important social ties are to human survival and to warn us not to reckon with them lightly.

When it comes to breaking up, we’re often biased by our current emotions, forgetting the potential of positive future experiences. Our brain is designed to seek pleasure over pain, but when you spend too much time ruminating on a break-up, the brain grows more familiar with the negative thinking and it begins to find pleasure in the mental anguish you create for yourself because it becomes familiar and comfortable. That’s when the breakdown happens and it remains.

Time to Wake-up?

Breakup wakes you up like an alarm clock and notifies you that your relationship isn’t what “it used to be”, or it isn’t what you “thought it would be”. Breakup forces you to make an assessment, perhaps a self-assessment. It might not only be you, but you can only control your contribution.

Rather than focusing solely on the disbandment of the relationship, focusing on the events within the relationship; you can explore how you functioned in the relationship and ways in which events offered lessons that added to your own development. You would then be able to see it as an opportunity for growth and expect to have better relationships the next time around.

Too many people are persistently looking for the “right person”, yet they forget to first be the right person for themselves.

The next time you’re tempted to cue up the tears-in-your-bear; consider something better – “HEALING”. First heal yourself after a heartbreak, instead of expecting someone to enter your life and solve all your problems. SANTA ISN’T COMING!

Remember, a breakup is just hitting a “pause” button on your romantic pursuits and then the “resume” button when you’re ready.

Whether you bounce back from a breakup or wallow in unhappiness depends on your resilience. The way you deal with the breakup also influences the prospects of your future relationships.

So gird up your loins before entering into another relationship, to make it on the up and up.

Breakdown?

or

Wakeup?

You decide.