7 Characteristics of Emotionally Intelligent People, According to Psychology

Emotional intelligence is the master skill, a capacity that profoundly affects all other abilities, either facilitating or interfering with them.

Daniel Goleman

Daniel Goleman, a psychologist, popularised the term emotional intelligence (EI), which is the capacity to recognise, comprehend, regulate, assess, effectively and constructively connect with people and utilise emotions for both one and others. Goleman has laid the groundwork for emotional intelligence with his work, especially with his 1995 book “Emotional Intelligence:  Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” which popularised the idea.

Along with the ability to perceive, analyse, and regulate one’s own emotions, other people’s emotions must also be understood and responded to. Emotionally intelligent people, according to Goleman and other experts, possess a few essential traits that help them successfully negotiate social difficulties, inspire and lead others, and succeed both personally and professionally. 

People with emotional intelligence possess a certain set of abilities that help them deal with difficult emotions. Better personal well-being and interpersonal interactions are made possible by emotional intelligence capabilities. Numerous advantages, such as improved decision-making skills, more academic accomplishment, and greater overall life success, are associated with emotional intelligence. EQ may be more significant than intelligence, or IQ,  according to some researchers. 

According to Associate Professor (Clinical Psychology) Dr Sonia Puar, emotionally intelligent individuals possess self-awareness, which is crucial for understanding their current mental state. This self-awareness is complemented by a rich emotional vocabulary, allowing them to accurately identify and label their emotions. Because emotionally intelligent people also have emotional regulation skills, they can manage the intensity of their emotions, making them more bearable, particularly when dealing with negative emotions. This combination of awareness and regulation helps them handle their emotions effectively without becoming overwhelmed

Five Core Emotional Intelligence Skills According to Goleman

1. Self-Awareness:

One of the most important emotional intelligence skills is self-awareness, which is the capacity to identify and comprehend your feelings. In addition to acknowledging your feelings, this also includes being conscious of how your behaviour, attitude, and feelings affect other people. Acquiring the ability to accurately recognise every single emotion you feel is essential to developing self-awareness. You must keep an eye on your feelings and identify various emotional responses.  

Recognising your strengths and weaknesses, being open to fresh perspectives,  and drawing lessons from social encounters are all signs of self-awareness. Goleman says that self-aware individuals have a good sense of humour, self-assurance in their skills, and knowledge of how other people see them. Example: When faced with stress, a manager may decide to take a step back and avoid making snap choices. They are aware that their relationships with team members might be impacted by stress, which can result in less thoughtful and efficient communication. 

2. Self-Regulation:

Emotional intelligence calls for the regulation and management of emotions in addition to awareness of one’s feelings and the effects one has on others. Waiting for the appropriate moment and setting to express your emotions is all that this emotional intelligence skill includes, and not suppressing your feelings and keeping them hidden. The key to self-regulation is knowing when and how to express your feelings.  

Self-regulatory individuals are typically adaptable and versatile. Additionally,  they are skilled in facing challenging situations and handling conflicts. Individuals with Strong self-control are aware of their influence on others and accept accountability for their behaviour. Example: When there is a heated argument, a self-controlled individual chooses to listen carefully and answer thoughtfully instead of behaving furiously.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Self-control

3. Social Skill

There is more to truly understanding emotions than just being aware of your own and other people’s feelings. Additionally, you must be able to apply this knowledge in your regular conversations and relationships. Thus, a key emotional intelligence ability is having good interpersonal communication skills. Social skills including persuasiveness, verbal and nonverbal communication abilities, and active listening enable you to form deep connections with people and gain a deeper understanding of both them and you. 

These abilities are also valuable in the workplace. Managers gain from utilising social skills to establish rapport and connections with staff members in work environments. Being able to build trusting relationships with managers and fellow employees is also advantageous to workers. Example: A team leader with strong social skills can organise a meeting where different viewpoints are shared and combined into a cohesive plan, making sure that everyone feels included and heard.

4. Empathy

Comprehending the emotions and viewpoints of others, often known as empathy, is another essential emotional intelligence skill. It involves being able to identify the emotional states of others and comprehend the reason behind them. This is crucial for directing how you engage with the various individuals you encounter every day.

Read More: Role of Empathy in Building a Meaningful Relationship

Understanding power dynamics that might affect social connections, such as those between various cultures and communities, is made possible by empathy.  People with high empathy levels can recognize who is in a position of power in a relationship and understand the effects this has on everyone’s emotions and actions. Example: A student’s withdrawal and lack of engagement is noticed by the teacher. The teacher addresses the kids with empathy, trying to determine whether any underlying concerns are influencing their behaviour, rather than scolding them for not participating.

5. Motivation

Emotionally intelligent people are driven by factors other than material gain such as wealth, recognition, and praise. Rather, they are driven to achieve their objectives and desires. Action-oriented people are typically competent motivators. They have a strong drive for success, create objectives, and are constantly seeking methods to improve. They also have a propensity for being highly self-motivated and dedicated. Example: Because they genuinely care about the quality of their work and the impact it will have an employee who is passionate about their job may remain late to perfect their presentation. This is not done for the sake of recognition.

Other additional skills according to research

6. Resilience

The capacity to overcome obstacles, failures, and adversity is resilience. It’s the ability to change with the times and come out stronger. Resilience is displayed by  emotionally intelligent individuals in a few ways: 

• Coping Strategies: To manage stress and unpleasant feelings, they create constructive coping strategies. This could include engaging in physical activity, practising relaxation techniques, or going outside. 
• Positive Self-Talk: They positively talk to themselves, emphasising their talents and capacity to overcome obstacles. Rather than sticking to insecurities, they remind themselves of their prior accomplishments and strengths.
• Learning from downfall: Rather than seeing them as failures, they see setbacks as chances for development and education. To make their next approach better,  they examine what went wrong and apply that knowledge. 
• Seeking assistance: When required, they seek out assistance from friends, relatives,  or experts. Emotional solace, direction, and encouragement can be obtained during trying times by having a solid support network. 
• Optimism: It is defined as looking on the bright side of situations and anticipating success. It’s important to keep a positive attitude despite difficult circumstances rather than disregarding challenges.

Those with emotional intelligence gain from optimism in a few ways:

• Motivation: Optimism stimulates drive and perseverance in the pursuit of objectives. Your likelihood of exerting the necessary effort to accomplish a goal increases when you have confidence in your ability to do it. 
• Mental Well-being: Better mental and physical health is associated with a more optimistic mindset. Optimism can strengthen the immune system, lower stress levels, and improve general well-being. 
• Problem-Solving: An innovative approach to problem-solving is fostered by optimism. When you’re positive, you’re less likely to focus on the issues at hand and more likely to consider possible solutions. 
• Relationships: People with an optimistic outlook typically establish more solid and fulfilling relationships. People who are optimistic about life tend to attract other people. 

7. Decision Making

Making decisions involves deciding which course of action to take out of several options. Logic and emotions are two factors that emotionally intelligent people consider while making judgements. 

• Emotional mindfulness: They understand the potential impact of their feelings on their choices. Anger, for instance, may increase the likelihood of impulsive decision-making. You can take action to lessen the impact of your emotions by becoming aware of them. 
• Acquiring Information: Before reaching a decision, they compile necessary data and consider various viewpoints. This involves analysing the benefits and drawbacks of each option, speaking with others, and doing research.
• Evaluation: They consider the advantages and disadvantages of every option as well as any possible repercussions when evaluating them. Before planning, this entails carefully weighing the possible results of each option. 
• Risk assessment: It involves weighing the possible advantages and disadvantages of every choice. This includes considering both the potential benefits and drawbacks of each choice. 
• Perspective for the Long Term: They think about how their decisions will affect things in the future. This is considering the long- and short-term effects of your decision on yourself. 

Four Major Components of Emotional Intelligence  

Researchers have stated that there are four components of emotional intelligence including emotional perception, the ability to reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotions, and the ability to manage emotions. 

1. Perceiving Emotions: Recognising emotions correctly is the first step towards comprehending them. Nonverbal clues like body language and facial expressions must frequently be interpreted to do this. 
2. Reasoning with Emotions: The next phase is to encourage thought processes by utilising emotions. Our emotional responses to items that capture our attention help us prioritise what we pay attention to and react to. 
3. Understanding Emotions: There are many different meanings associated with the feelings we perceive. An observer must identify the source of an individual’s anger and its potential meaning while they are displaying furious feelings. If your supervisor is behaving irrationally, for instance, it could indicate that they are not happy with your performance, or that they have been having arguments with their partner. 
4. Managing Emotions: A key component of emotional intelligence is the capacity for efficient emotion management. Emotional management includes controlling feelings, reacting correctly, and handling other people’s emotions. 

Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Various Factors 

1. Emotional Intelligence and Mental Health 

People with high emotional intelligence (EI) are very aware of their feelings, which enables them to recognise and control their emotional reactions. This self-awareness lowers the likelihood of anxiety, sadness, and other mental health problems by serving as a buffer against intense emotional states. Additionally, EI gives people the skills they need to overcome obstacles in life and develop resilience. People can adjust to stressful conditions and create useful coping mechanisms by understanding and controlling their emotions.

For preventing mental health issues and enhancing general well-being, this resilience is essential. Emotional intelligence also helps with dispute resolution and good communication, both of which are critical for preserving wholesome relationships, which are also critical for mental health. However, emotional intelligence can be greatly impacted by mental health issues. It might be difficult for those who are depressed or anxious to identify and control their feelings. 

2. Emotional Intelligence in Relationships 

Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of fulfilling and healthy relationships. It helps people to establish close relationships, develop trust, and promote intimacy. People with high EI can provide a secure and encouraging environment for their partners by being aware of and in control of their own emotions. They are more satisfied and connected when they can express their needs and desires clearly.

To comprehend and address the emotional needs of others, empathy- a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence is required. People with emotional intelligence can empathise with their partners by placing themselves in their partner’s position. This capacity for emotional connection forges a stronger link between couples and fosters a climate of security and trust.  

Additionally, EI is very important in resolving conflicts. Couples can positively resolve conflicts by communicating honestly and skillfully handling their emotions. People with emotional intelligence can pinpoint the underlying reasons for disagreement and come up with win-win solutions that keep tensions low and relationships intact.  

According to Clinical Psychologist Gavneet Kaur Pruthi, Emotional intelligence can truthfully be a make-it-or-break-it factor for a marraige or relationship. Emotionally intelligent people validate their partners feelings instead of disagreement. These people have empathy and self awareness in their relationship. They view the challenges as opportunities rather than problems and solve together. Further laughter is key of happiness in their relationship, which they maintain.

3. Use of Emotional Intelligence during conflicts by using interpersonal skills 

By recognising and labelling your feelings, you can raise your emotional intelligence. Managing your emotions and applying them to social circumstances can be your next step after you are more adept at identifying what you are experiencing. Developing strong emotional intelligence skills can also be facilitated by honing your social skills, which include teamwork and empathy. Effective conflict management may require the use of certain skills, according to research, including problem-solving, stress management, and interpersonal connections.

Read More: Conflict Resolution Strategies and Skills

A stronger emotional intelligence will enable you to handle conflicts more skillfully, as all these abilities depend on it. When engaging and forming connections with people, you employ your interpersonal skills. They make it possible for you to speak clearly and build wholesome, genuine connections. The ability to read and comprehend the emotions of others is crucial for the development of interpersonal skills.  

4. Emotional Intelligence in Leadership 

Leadership effectiveness is significantly increased when leaders possess emotional intelligence (EI), which enables them to understand and manage the emotions of both them and their team members. High EI leaders are self-aware, understanding their advantages and disadvantages as well as how their emotions affect their choices and behaviours. 

Better self-regulation is made possible by this self-awareness, which enables people to remain collected and calm under pressure and make more logical decisions. High EI leaders inspire and excite their people because they are inherently motivated by passion and dedication. Empathy, a fundamental aspect of emotional intelligence, allows leaders to establish a more profound connection with their team members by comprehending their wants, worries, and driving forces. 

This, in turn, promotes a collaborative and encouraging work atmosphere. These leaders are incredibly good at resolving conflicts, fostering strong interpersonal bonds, and encouraging clear communication. In tough and dynamic environments, they demonstrate resilience and adaptability in the face of shifting conditions. Additionally, their upbeat perspective enables them to keep a cheerful disposition in the face of difficulty, inspiring their group to continue and be creative.

5. Emotional Intelligence and Stress Management 

Stress triggers and the emotions they elicit can be recognized by those with high emotional intelligence (EI), which helps them deal with stressors more skillfully.  One of the most important aspects of emotional intelligence (EI) is self-awareness, which allows people to keep an eye on their emotional states and see stress signals early on. This allows them to take proactive measures to cope, such as practising mindfulness, relaxing, or getting help. 

In addition to helping people maintain composure and regulate impulsive emotions, self-regulation also helps people manage stress by preventing stressful situations from getting worse. Another component of emotional intelligence (EI) is empathy, which helps people understand and meet the emotional needs of others. 

This builds a network of supportive people who can help people cope with stress. Social skills improve interpersonal stress and create a more peaceful atmosphere by improving communication and dispute resolution. Furthermore, those with high EI are more likely to set and meet realistic goals and to remain optimistic despite difficult situations, which strengthens resilience. Because of their adaptability, they can deal with changes and uncertainty positively and flexibly, which lessens the effects of stress.

Take Away

People with emotional intelligence design their paths to success. They succeed in their personal and professional lives because they have a deep awareness of their emotions and the capacity to handle challenging interpersonal situations. Their empathy, resilience, and skilful communication stimulate strong relationships, trust, and innovation. People may realize their full potential and make a positive difference in the world by developing emotional intelligence.