Human beings are social creatures and they thrive for connections, attachment and belongingness with other people. We tend to be part of each other’s lives and vice versa because how else are we going to make our lives more joyful, delightful and gratifying? In any relationship, we aim to be happy with the other person, but happiness as a term holds different values for different people. Some might think that snuggling on the sofa and while watching a movie is happiness and content, but for others it might be going on adventures together. Whatever your definition might be, it directly connects to your needs, wants, desires, expectations which can very well get changed over time. But some attributes are necessary for a happy and healthy relationship. Here are some of the qualities which make a relationship strong and healthy.
Compassion
Partners should be compassionate towards each other. They should be able to put themselves in each other’s shoes and understand their feelings, reasons and struggles. Showing compassion towards your partner can result in them feeling of love, appreciation and care which would fuel love, connection, intimacy and trust in the relationship. Sometimes it might be difficult to remain in a compassionate place with your partner. You might not be in a position to understand or equipped enough to tackle the problem by yourself. It requires a level of awareness and emotional intelligence without which it might seem far reaching. But working together and solving the issues is what makes a relationship stable and long lasting.
Trust
Caroline Madden, a marriage therapist, suggested that trust is the most important aspect in any kind of relationship. It takes years to gain trust of someone and seconds to break it. Trust in your partner isn’t just restricted to intimacy, but also with each other’s fears, vulnerability, insecurities and wounds from childhood. In any relationship, a person should feel free to talk about all this and should not feel threatened that someday be used against. For an instance, if your partner is upset about something related to his/her past which had a huge impact on her, you should make that person feel welcomed and comfortable enough that he/she could approach you and talk their heart out to ease their own worry and pain. That’s how one makes their relationship strong and healthy.
Mutual Respect
When you are in a relationship, both the partners are expected to respect each other and their decisions, feelings and thoughts as well. When one of the partners decides anything in regards to their relationship, he/she should keep his/her partner in mind, if the partner would be comfortable and okay with whatever decision is taken. This doesn’t mean that you start sacrificing yourself in order to make your partner happy. The key is communicating and coming up with a solution which would benefit you both.
Positivity
Every person likes to be appreciated and loved by people and especially by their loved ones. Positivity in a relationship means to appreciate each other and uplift each other when one of you is feeling sad or down. You should always look towards the positive side of the situation while also taking into account the opposite side. It is important to find a balance in any kind of relationship, so when you see your partner being sad or upset about anything, or overthinking about their ongoing work, you need to take the lead and make your partner relax and make them realize that you are with them. You should remind them about good things in their life, make some dinner plans or outing plans to divert their mind, make them talk about what is making them distress and discuss possible solutions. Small gestures like saying ‘thank you’, ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m there for you’ can help the other person to relax and feel less burdened knowing they are not alone.
Support
Supporting your partner‘s dreams and goals is a huge part of a relationship. Regardless of what you think about their ambition or goals, partners should be up and ready to help their partners in achieving the said goals. You have to support them, inspire them, and help them grow for them to accomplish their target. Believe it when I say there’s nothing like seeing your partner succeed at something they worked very hard on. Be proud and happy for them and celebrate their achievements with them. Apart from supporting their goals, you should generally support your partner in their happy, sad, difficult times and vice versa. Your partner should feel that they have your back anytime they would need you. One of the greatest examples for a supportive relationship was showcased in the movie “Mary Kom”. The story depicts that when two people work together, communicate better, support each other and their decision, they could overcome any obstacle. Mary Kom was able fulfill her goals and achieve so much and her husband had a huge part to play in her success as well.
Intimacy
Laura Heck, marriage and family therapist in Salt Lake City, Utah, claims that sexual and emotional intimacy is one of the important parts of a healthy relationship. Your intimacy with your friend will be different from the intimacy you will have with your romantic partner. Intimacy takes time to build. It is a feeling of being loved and belongingness where you are understood and appreciated. If you’ve ever heard that someone describing their relationship as empty or they feel worthless or abandoned in their relationship, it is very likely that they are lacking in intimacy.
Space
Apart from being in a relationship with each other, an individual still needs his/her own space to function. Yes, the partners should help encourage their significant others to thrive but also give them space for their “me” time. Sometimes, people don’t realise that they crowd their partners with being over protective and meddling in their life and every small decision they take. If we take an example where a girl wants to go on a trip with her friends but her father is adamant to go with her because he feels she wouldn’t be safe. The point here is the concern that her father is having is valid but he needs to show a level of trust to her daughter and believe that she could actually take care of herself if she is claiming she can. The father’s over protective nature will not only make her daughter less open to him in future but also it might end up ruining their relation in the future as well.
