An embarrassing situation makes us feel ashamed or shy of ourselves either for doing something knowingly or unknowingly. It is a feeling of discomfort, making us self-conscious about how we are perceived by others. Almost all of us have embarrassed ourselves a couple of times by falling in public, stalking someone’s Instagram and accidentally hitting a like, being told that something is stuck in our teeth or drooling or snoring while we are asleep, wearing clothes inside out and realizing it only after coming back home.
We get embarrassed by positive life events as well like being called beautiful or handsome in front of everyone, getting a romantic proposal in public, going beet red while the whole class sings Happy Birthday. The feeling of embarrassment is not restricted solely to our actions. At times,
we are embarrassed by others- when a parent gets to know that their child was punished or failed an exam, seeing your sibling getting punished in school or getting to know that you were cheated on by your beloved.
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Embarrassment is a highly customized and personal experience. Some of us embarrass ourselves multiple times and brush it off easily with a laugh whereas, for some a single moment of embarrassment can be devastating and their entire pyramid of confidence and self-esteem could crumble down completely. Some can even panic or get anxious at the thought of getting embarrassed and might indulge in life-threatening events.
Experiencing embarrassment and humiliation can take a toll on us. However, we can learn to manage these unsettling emotions effectively.
Here are 10 tips on dealing with embarrassing situations:
- Tune into your Feelings: Since childhood, we have engaged ourselves in observational learning which might be faulty at times. Hence, it is crucial to understand ourselves and our emotions at a personal level. What can be not so embarrassing for us in real, can be felt as mortifying just because we have observed and learnt to react in the same way. Pause, take a step back and think for yourself – Is this embarrassing? Am I embarrassed or is it a learned response?
- Embrace the Embarrassment: Do not try to shy away from what you feel. Remind yourself that embarrassment is just an emotion, which means it is in motion, it will not be around forever. Address and acknowledge it. If someone points something out, do not deny it. Accept it and laugh along. By doing so, you will not just come out as confident but you will be providing a safe space to others which is a prosocial behavior.
- Analyze the Situation: Reflect on what has happened while ignoring what “you think” has happened and what “others think” has happened. If you have felt embarrassed recall how you got over a similar situation in the past, how someone you know got over the situation and most importantly how commonly it happens to others. Believe me, there is no such moment of embarrassment that has been witnessed solely by you. Note: Analyzing and overanalyzing is different.
- Self-reflection and Evaluation: Embarrassment is born out of self-consciousness. Therefore, one should engage in self-reflection. Emotions possess the power to blur our intellect and cloud our judgment. Through reflection and evaluation, we can get a clear understanding of the event.
- Engagement over Avoidance: Discard the norm of cloaking yourself from the surroundings and try getting engaged. No matter how trivial it might seem, if it’s good enough as a beginner then it is a perfect place to start with. Embrace your imperfections cause at times our imperfections are also an illusion just like they say- Perfection is an Illusion. What might seem imperfect to you can be empowering to others.
- Trying on New Shades of Perspectives: When we look closely, we realize that no emotion exists in isolation, there are multiple layers underneath. When we are in love, we experience compassion, calmness, a sense of security and peace along with fear of losing the person, nervousness at times, overwhelmed by an intense whirlpool of emotions. Similarly, when we are embarrassed, the negatives are backed up by positives. Try looking at those positives like the event was humiliating but it was funny, it did teach us something, we got to know ourselves better, moreover, it made us feel unique.
- Developing Friendship with Embarrassment: If you watched “Inside Out 2” this year, then you might recall that Embarrassment, Anxiety, Anger, Disgust, Ennui and Sadness all work together with Joy to look out for Riley. All these emotions do is care about us and want the best for us. Now, will it be wise of us to cut ties with someone who is looking out for us? Yes, at times, things can go out of control while trying to be too much in control. Let your friend (embarrassment) know, that it is going to be fine.
- Seeing Beyond Ourselves: “Imaginary Audience” is a state where we believe that we are constantly being evaluated and watched by others. This state is mostly found during adolescence but can escalate to adulthood. Sometimes all we need to do is get over ourselves and take ourselves off the pedestal that we were put to only by ourselves.
- Seeking Social Support: Share your feelings and experiences with the people you are close to or if it is bothering you a lot then you can seek help from a mental health professional. By seeking help, we gain new insights and perspectives if we are having a hard time finding them alone. Allowing and providing ourselves the space to be vulnerable is one of the bravest things to do.
- Let Laughter Ease It: The best remedy of all times- Laugh it out. Laughter is the best medicine for our overall well-being. It strengthens our immunity, uplifts our emotional state, fortifies our social ties.
Conclusion:
Addressing and overcoming embarrassing situations can be challenging yet achievable. As Maya Angelou said- “Every storm runs out of rain.” It’s the same with what we feel. Feelings and emotions fleet away with time so why not greet and comfort our little visitors instead of shutting the door on its face and ending up hurting each of us.
