10 Strong reasons your partner is a Green Flag, according to Psychology

“He checks my phone, he is such a Red flag’’, “He brought me chocolate and ice-cream during my periods, he is a Green flag for sure” We notice these statements being said around us a lot these days. The terms ‘Red flag’ and ‘green flag’ has been popularized by the social media. We often  encounter these words on instagram posts, reels and memes. But these words are not just another trend on the social media, these terms hold a  significant meaning.

Now what exactly does being a Red flag or Green flag mean?

Red flags are the negative traits seen in a person that makes it difficult to have interpersonal  relationship with them. For example – cheating on your partner, he keeps on lying with you,  he is insecure and possessive, are some of the common Red flags in a relationship. 

On the contrary, Green flags are the positive signs that you should look for in the person before getting in the relationship. In simpler words, Green flags are the ‘GO AHEAD” signs in a relationship. These green flags are like indicators that will help you understand your partner and your  relationship better. Here are 10 signs that show that your partner is Green Flag, according to psychology. 

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1. They Trust you  

Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.

Stephen Covey 

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. No relationship can work long term if there is lack of trust between the partners. It’s like taking a blind jump trusting that the other person will not let you fall.  For example – Imagine your partner is having trouble adjusting to his new office and is feeling  frustrated with the change. Instead of lying about their feelings, they share it with  you. They trust you enough to share their problems with you. This helps in strengthening your relationship. Trust is not only about sharing small, day to day things. It is when you are not afraid to share your deep insecurities and issues with them. Trust makes relationship stronger and honest. 

2. They communicate with you  

Communication is the compass that guides love through the storms of  misunderstandings.

The one golden rule in any relationship is – good communication. 

Importance of communication has been highlighted many times before.  It is essential that your partner communicates with you and makes you feel  comfortable enough that you can communicate with them without hesitation.  Many a times we assume that our partner should read our mind and guess our  feelings, which is not possible in reality.  

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For example – You are busy in your work and ignoring your partner. You might think that they should understand without you telling them what is going on. This is not practically possible. You need to talk to them and make them understand your situation. It is important we understand that we do not yet have the superpower to read minds. If there is something that is bothering us we need to communicate it properly to our partners. 

Communication is that key that can unlock many difficult locks. Try and have difficult conversations. Talk about things that bother you, it is not as  difficult as it sounds in your head.  

3. They respect your boundaries  

Boundaries are like fences; they keep out what you don’t want and protect what you  value.

Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (1992) 

What will be your reaction if someone forcefully enters your house? Just like how we do not let strangers barge in to our house in the same way we  create personal boundaries to protect our mental health. These boundaries are invisible but very important in any relationship. It is essential  that your partner knows your boundaries and does not violate them. This is what respecting personal boundaries mean.  

These boundaries can be – Physical, emotional, economical, etc. Respecting your partner’s boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship and definitely a big green flag in any relationship.

Read More: Importance of Boundaries in Relationship

4. They support you  

In a relationship each person should support the other; they should lift each other  up.

Taylor Swift 

It is important that your partner is your biggest cheerleader in anything you do. We all have seen Olympics 2024 edits on social media. Where the partners of the players are cheering them the loudest and the players run to them the minute they finish the game. This is what love means. For example – You are a doctor while your partner works at a corporate firm. Your better half has always loved dance, and has also learned dance as a hobby. Now they want to change their career path and shift to dancing full time. When they share their thoughts with you they are afraid you won’t support this.  

Now instead of doubting them or criticizing them, you show your full support to  them. You help them in picking the best dance college and help them applying to it. Support is like a rainbow on the grey skies of insecurity. 

They give the person in front confidence. Being there for each other in every highs and lows of the life, celebrating each other’s small wins is what being supportive means. If your partner supports you emotionally, practically or by motivating you, it is  definitely a sign of Green flag.  

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5. They give you time 

Time is the currency of relationships.

Dave Willis

Time is the most underrated gift you can give to a person. In modern world, we have everything, technology, money everything is available on  fingertips but what we don’t have is – time.  The most important thing to make any relationship work long term is giving each other time.  Life gets pretty busy for everyone. But as it is said you never have time, you have to make  time for the people you love. For example – You and your partner try to spend at least one day of the week together even if both of you live very busy lives. No amount of grand gifts can compensate for your absence.  

Giving time does not essentially mean being together 24 hours. It means being emotionally available for that person. You might not be able to meet each other often, but it is essential that you spend at least a part of your day talking with each other, updating on day’s events, sharing problems, small win’s, etc. Spending time with each other helps in getting to know each other better and strengthens  the bond further.  

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6. They are Consistent  

Relationships thrive on the steady rhythm of consistency.

In the era of situationships and mixed signals, find someone who is consistent in his actions. When he says that he will be there he is there, if he says he will text later he does text. These things show that you can count on them. For example, Imagine you and your partner are both corporate employees. You both spend most of the days working. While meeting in person seems like a dream, both of you try to work things out. You take out time from the day to talk to them; you make plans to meet whenever possible. 

Consistency is trying to live up to the promises you make. Love isn’t always about planning big surprises sometimes it is being there every day  for the person you love. Consistency is the key. If your partner is consistent in his  actions and words then he is definitely a keeper. 

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7. They Respect you 

Just like trees cannot survive and grow without water in the same way no relationship can survive or flourish without the presence of respect. Respect is the foremost in a relationship. We all are different people. You and your partner would not always have same opinions on everything. There will be times when you two are standing at the opposite ends but it is in these moments when you need to respect your partner. It does not mean that you agree with them but it is important that you understand each other’s point of view and respect it. 

For example – you and your partner have different opinion on a particular topic like parenting. Now instead of completely dismissing each other’s opinion, you hear out the other person with respect and then give your thoughts about the same. Respecting your partner means letting them be who they are. Respect improves trust, increases stability and makes communication better in  relationship.

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8. They try to resolve a fight using Healthy ways 

Love is not running or giving up, it is standing and fighting for every moment.

F. Moonzajer 

Are you someone who believes that an ideal relationship is when two people do not fight at all? Well, you need to reconsider that thought for a moment. No relationships can stand strong without fights. Fights are like those bitter tablets. They might taste bad but they make the body strong. Fights are inevitable in relationship. True green flag is the one who is calm and respectful even during arguments. He does not blame you or avoids the argument instead he tries to  focus on finding the solution. 

For example – You and your better half are shifting to a new house. Both of you have different ideas about  the design of the house. This is causing friction between you two.  Both of you want the other person to agree to your idea. Instead of blaming each other for not agreeing with your idea, both of you sit and talk about it. Each one of you takes some  points from other’s design and together you create the design for your new house.  

This healthy fight resolution ways saves them a lot of issues to blow out of proportion. Make sure that in a relationship it is – you two v/s the problem and not you v/s him. Remember NOT having fights is not a sign of an ideal relationship. 

9. They appreciate you and feel grateful for the relationship 

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what  you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

Epicurus 

Imagine you winning something small and there is your partner cheering the loudest. Telling  everyone how much he is proud of you. This is what relationship is made up of. Relationship is not just about grand gestures. It is  about little things like appreciating your partner and feeling grateful for their presence. 

For example, You and your partner are working couple. To make you feel appreciated your significant  other brings you your favorite ice-cream while coming back from office. You to remind your partner that you are grateful for them you write them small notes of  appreciation in their lunch box. These things may sound very insignificant and you might think that these small efforts do  not matter. But these small things are like glue, they hold the relationship together in the  long run. 

This small gesture reminds them that even though they do not spend a lot of time together  they are grateful for their love and support. Having a partner who feels blessed to have you in his life, who notices and appreciates your  efforts is a green flag that you should look for in your relationship.  

10. They are Independent 

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up your independence, it means finding a balance between your desires and the needs of your partner.

Sometimes it happens that you get so involved in the relationship that you start losing your  own identity in the process. It is important that your partner has hobbies and friends outside of the relationship. For example – You and your partner might enjoy different activities during your free time. That does not mean you love each other any less.  

It is important to note that you don’t have to like the same things, have the same friends  and be with each other all day. You should have a life that is independent from your relationship. Sometimes it so happens  that we forget of our individual identities in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, partner accepts the need for personal space. This suggests that  both the people have independent existence beyond the relationship. Maintaining the  balance between independence and togetherness is what is called a healthy relationship.

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Conclusion  

Relationships are like a complex maze. You might not know exactly how to get out but you  can definitely identify some of the signs along the way.  Being with someone who is insecure, gets possessive, gives mixed signals is not someone  who will help you grow in your life. Instead be with someone who understands you, supports your dreams, and appreciates you. Be with someone who shows that loving you is  not difficult.

Choosing a partner is one of the most difficult and at the same time very important decision  of your life. It is necessary that you are cautious while making the commitment. Knowing  about the Red and Green Flags while assist you in making a more informed choice. Red flags will help you understand what the negative traits in a person are and what you  should stay away from. The green flags on the other hand will show you what exactly you  should look for in your partner.  

Relationships are never 50-50; find someone who is ready to give 80% when all you can give is 20% and also be someone who is ready to give 90% on the days when your partner can  give only 10%. Try to balance each other’s efforts on the bad days.  When you try to find green flags in your partner make sure to introspect and find those  green flags in yourself. Life is a long journey, find yourself the right partner who will hold your hand throughout the  journey and make it easier and fun.