‘Remember who you are’
We all felt it in our hearts when Mufasa said this to Simba in The Lion King. Have you ever had a feeling that you are constantly pretending to be someone you are not? The world is becoming more and more complicated and it has become increasingly difficult to keep in touch with yourself. We all are constantly wearing masks, trying to impress and fit in within the standards of society. We all have agreed to certain things at some point in our life even though we do not believe in it just to fit in or try to control our emotions just to appear rough and tough in front of others.
According to Counseling Psychologist Avanti Desai, Being authentic, at the end of the day, is what builds your character. You need to have a strong moral support system that guides all your decisions and builds a foundation for the relationships you share with others. Being authentic means being confident in who you are and not being afraid of any type of judgment. It’s closely related to self-esteem and self-confidence.
Then what exactly does being authentic means?
Being authentic means being real or true to yourself. Being authentic is not pretending to be something that you are not just to please others or being insincere. It is about being original, being consistent, accepting your flaws gracefully, etc.
Then how do we know if we are authentic or not? Here are 10 signs that you are truly an authentic person.
According to Counselling psychologist Swati Ghoshal, Authenticity is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life, as it involves aligning your actions and decisions with your true self. When you’re authentic, you embrace your values, strengths, and imperfections, which fosters genuine connections and inner peace. It’s not about perfection but about being honest with yourself and others. Authenticity requires courage to resist societal pressures and embrace vulnerability. By living authentically, you create a life that resonates with your core beliefs, allowing for deeper relationships and a more meaningful existence. It’s the foundation for personal growth and resilience, empowering you to navigate life’s challenges with integrity.
10 Signs you are an Authentic Person
1. You are not afraid to show your emotions
I am a human being, with feelings and emotions and scars and flaws, just like anyone else. – Josh Gordon
No one can deny the fact that humans are full of different emotions. Authentic people are true to their emotions. They are not scared to openly express their emotions to others.
For example – they share with others when they are overjoyed or feeling furious about something or are just respectfully having a bad day. Authentic people understand that the emotions that they are feeling are a part of them and understand that it is not right to suppress your own emotions for the sake of others. If you are someone who is not scared to express your true emotions in front of others then it is a sign that you are an authentic person.
2. You accept your mistakes
Mistakes do happen and life goes on – Sourav Ganguly
As humans, we all are prone to making mistakes. Mistakes are a part of learning. But many of us fear taking responsibility for our mistakes. We feel that it is a sign of weakness but on the contrary, accepting your mistakes is a sign of being an authentic person.
Being afraid to make mistakes takes away our opportunity to learn and grow as a human.
For example – whenever you are trying to learn a new dance step, it is rare that you will get it perfect the first time. You will make mistakes; and fall a few times before you are perfect at it. This is what it is all about. It is not a competition of who makes the least mistakes; it is a journey where you are learning from your mistakes. Authentic people do not chase perfectionism. They are not scared of making mistakes and do not shy away from taking responsibility for their mistakes. Accepting your mistakes is another sign of being an authentic person.
3. Focusing on Personal Growth
The only journey is the journey within – Rainer Maria Rilke
Authentic people tend to focus more on their personal growth. They refrain from comparing themselves with others. They believe that they are their competitors and work to do better than what they did the last time. For example – they would want to score better than what they scored last time on a test rather than comparing their scores with others and trying to do better than them.
They invest their time and energy in learning new skills, setting and achieving goals, etc. They focus on making themselves better each new day. Focusing on yourself and trying to be better is a sign of an authentic person.
Read More: The Psychology Behind Achievement
4. You are consistent in your actions and words
Well done is better than well said – Benjamin Franklin
Authenticity is not one of the moment things; it should be reflected constantly in your personality.
We all have met people who make big claims like I deeply care about keeping our environment clean or I believe that everyone should walk short distances rather than taking a vehicle to reduce pollution. Then the very next moment you will see them throwing wrappers on the road or taking a cab for a walking distance. But this is not the case for authentic people.
Authentic people do what they say. When they speak they do not merely talk about big things their actions reflect their words. For example – authentic people do not just say that it is important to save trees, you will see them planting and taking care of the trees. Authentic people show alignment in their words and actions.
5. You Respect other people’s viewpoints
“As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others.”
Being authentic is not just about always speaking and sharing your own opinions.
Authentic people do not make every conversation about themselves. They are open to other people’s opinions and are ready to learn from them. They are great listeners. Even if they do not agree with what the other person is saying they respect different viewpoints. They keep an open mind when listening to others and do not keep pushing forward their view as the only right perspective.
Read More: How to enhance the skill of Active Listening and use it for Self Help?
For example – if the authentic person is discussing any controversial topic with other people. He will make sure to listen to every perspective keeping an open mind. Even if he disagrees with someone’s opinion he will not cut them in between. He will let them complete and take in the information and then respectfully tell them about his views about the same. Authentic people understand that there are different ways of looking at things. What seems right to them may not be right for others. Authentic people respect other people’s perspectives.
6. You are honest but not brutal
So casually cruel in the name of being honest – Taylor Swift (song – all too well)
Just like this line from Taylor Swift’s song – all too well, many people mistake honesty with being hurtful to others.
Authentic people do not sugarcoat things just to make other people feel better. They are truthful and are completely honest. But here is when it gets complicated. Authentic people are considerate of other people’s feelings. They are honest in a way that will not be brutal for the other person. It is not what you say, but the way you say it that makes a difference.
For example – when a friend asks them their views on an essay that they have put in a lot of effort for they find things that they feel might be improved. They do not downright say, “Honestly, this is a bad essay” Instead they carefully use their words and say things like, “You have put in a lot of effort for this essay and it shows, I think if you make certain changes to it, the essay will get better like adding a few more examples or quotes.”
It is wrong to hurt others in the name of being honest. Authentic people understand this and try to find a correct balance between being honest and being empathetic.
7. You are not afraid to say ‘NO’
“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” – Josh Billings
We think that saying no will make us a bad person.
How many times have you said yes, when you wanted to say no just because you did not want to hurt another person’s feelings?
Many times, we do things that we do not want to simply because we cannot say ‘NO’. We want to please everybody; even if that means that we end up getting frustrated or taking on too much work. For example – Doing the work of a colleague after finishing your own even if you had other plans.
Authentic people understand the value of no. They know that it is impossible to keep everyone around them happy. They refuse things without feeling guilty about it. Saying yes to everything is not a sign of being kind. Authentic people establish their boundaries, they help others without stressing out themselves. It is not easy. It might be uncomfortable initially, but over time you will realize that you have saved yourself so much stress and frustration. If you are someone who can say ‘No’ to others, pat your back. You are doing a great job.
Read More: Spotting Manipulation: How to Protect Yourself and Set Boundaries
8. You do not need external validation
Stop seeking approval from others and start approving of yourself.– Unknown
We all need validation to feel motivated. But the question is how much dependent we are on other people’s validation for our work.
Sometimes we feel that we are only good enough if someone else says that we are good enough. But authentic people are different. Authentic people do not need other people to tell them that they are doing a great job. They have high self–esteem and do not depend on outside sources to feel validated. For example – you have made a great painting and you share it on social media, because you think that your work is good enough only if other people appreciate it.
An authentic person shares the painting on social media but does not wait for other people to appreciate it. They pat their own back for their work and efforts and continue to focus on their betterment. Authentic people understand that their value is not decided by how others see them, but rather by how they see themselves.
9. You live in the moment
“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” – Bill Watterson
We all are continuously held back from the tensions of the future and the thoughts of the past and somewhere in this, our present is lost.
Authentic people do not let that happen. They try to live in the moment. That does not mean that they do not care about the future and the past. They do plan for what’s coming next and learn from their past mistakes but in all this, they do not forget to enjoy the present moment. For example – whenever you are out with your friends, you do not keep thinking about your pending tasks or what the professor said to you in the task. You are fully present there with your friends. You let yourself have fun with them in that moment.
Authentic people completely experience every moment.
10. You value deep connections
There are connections, inexplicable by the laws of place and time.– Kate Morton
We are surrounded by so many people around us but how many of those connections are honest and deep?
Authentic people try to have meaningful relationships rather than having superficial small talks with the people around them. Authentic people believe in having a deep and healthy connection with the people around them. They make efforts to maintain good relationships with others. When it comes to people, it is always quality over quantity. It’s okay to not have a large group of friends around you, try having 2 or 3 genuine friends who will support you in your journey.
Wanting to have deep connections is not just a great quality but rather a sign of authenticity.
Conclusion
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” – Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection (book) (2010)
Put in simple words, being authentic is being true to what you are, not hiding behind any mask just to please other people. It is not a simple road, sometimes not pretending and being your true self might make you lose some opportunities. But in the long run, such opportunities will not make you happy. Constantly pretending to be someone that you are not will build up frustration stress and a lot of pressure.
It is better to let go of short-term opportunities and stick to your true self for long-term happiness and peace. Over time, this will reward you. Working on yourself and constantly striving to better yourself will give you greater opportunities to succeed. The journey towards authenticity is not a simple one. It is a slow, learning process that will lead you to a true, unique version of yourself.
References +
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