10 Daily Habits to Build Self-confidence

What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you read the word “Self-confidence”? Do you think you are Self-confident? Self-confidence is often misinterpreted as a special ability that is not present in everyone. It is something that you can build through practice. Self-confidence is simply your willingness to take steps toward your goals even if you’re unsure about the outcome. It’s the courage you need to act rather than give up. 

Self-confidence is in Your Control 

Of course, there will be a lot of things influencing your beliefs – your family, friends, society, social media, etc. That does not mean you have no control over yourself. The first step in building self-confidence is understanding yourself – who you are, what you value, your strengths and weaknesses, and what you aim for. If you don’t know about yourself then others will assume it for you. What happens then? You can’t be those assumptions and that will affect your worth in return. 

Knowledge about your real self enables you to deal with stressful situations better. In research by psychologists David Creswell and David Sherman, participants were instructed to reflect on a core value, like being a good friend. Then, they wrote a paragraph on a memory that aligned with that value. Results showed that those who did the exercise had lower adrenaline levels while meeting stressful situations, like exams or public speech, than those who didn’t. 

What do you understand from the above experiment? Instead of using self-praising words like “I’m the best”, thinking about your real accomplishments or strengths with evidence will enhance your confidence. This leads you to believe in yourself and these beliefs are hard to defend. 

The Positive Role of Self-Doubt 

Self-doubt isn’t always a bad thing. It helps you understand where you need to focus on. Self-doubt is a sign that you need to prepare more, get more information, or take a break. So, take it as feedback rather than an enemy. Planning and practice are the keys to reducing your self-doubt. Self-compassion is another factor. Talk to yourself with kindness and patience. Encourage yourself for each step and congratulate yourself on each accomplishment. Self-confidence isn’t something that can be achieved in a day, and you won’t be confident every day. It’s more about taking the step.

Debunking the Myths of Self-Confidence 

• Self-confidence is not about being arrogant or dominant. It’s more about understanding yourself and freeing yourself from inconsistent worries and self-doubt. If you’re confident, then you become less self-absorbed and can focus more on your surroundings. 
• People often attribute self-confidence to being perfect. You need to have a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. This reduces your obsession with unwanted criticisms and self-doubt. 
• Self-confidence does not mean avoiding others’ feedback. Accept helpful ones and act without defensiveness. The more you understand yourself, the more you take feedback as a tool for improvement rather than allowing it to break you. 
• Being self-confident is not about letting others down. It’s more about presenting your views and also listening to others’ perspectives. You may even reach a compromise.
• Do you think self-confident people won’t fail? It’s a myth. Setbacks are common in everyone’s lives. Self-confidence lets you deal with such challenges and enables you to accomplish them in the future. 

How Do People Become Less Self-confident? 

The reason is not always you. So many factors influence your self-confidence. The major factors include: 

Genes 

Your genetic makeup may be a reason for your low confidence. Genes can influence the body’s chemicals. For example, serotonin (a neurotransmitter associated with happiness) and oxytocin (the love hormone) are inhibited by certain genetic influences. These can further affect an individual’s self-confidence. 

Life Experiences 

Each individual passes through different life circumstances. These experiences may have a certain influence on their self-confidence. 

• Trauma: If you’re suffering from any kind of trauma, then seek professional support to deal with it. Trauma can affect one’s self-confidence and other areas of life.
• Parenting Style: How have your parents treated you from childhood? It has a very important role in one’s self-confidence building. If you experienced constant criticism, belittling, and comparing from your parents, then it’s more likely you to experience insecurities and inferiority feelings. Overly strict parenting may also build fear and low self-confidence. Excessive caring and pampering may also leave you unable to deal with life’s challenges. 
• Bullying, Harassment, and Humiliation: Apart from parenting styles, childhood bullying may also affect your self-confidence. This may affect your performance in different areas of life. Not only childhood bullying, but also bullying or humiliation in adult life may have a negative impact on you. Persistent humiliation may silence people from speaking for themselves.

Marginalization

The effects of marginalization may affect one’s self-confidence. No matter on what basis a person is discriminated against, they may internalize some sort of negative beliefs about their potential. The lesser the awareness of such discrimination, the more it affects their self-confidence and mental health.

Misinformation

Misinformation is far more problematic than lack of information. If you believe that you need to be confident to act confidently, then you won’t even take a step. It’s more about taking even a small step while being anxious or uncertain about the outcome. Another restricting factor is perfectionism. If you’re planning to do something after sorting out everything associated with it, then it’s less likely to happen. Your perfectionist attitude will restrict you from action.

Social Environment 

In this digital era, you are more likely to compare yourself with others. When you look at social media, everyone is celebrating their successes and are on their happy faces. Some of you may feel like everyone has perfect lives, and you are the only one lacking. In fact, who wants to show their setbacks to others? You are only seeing the filtered lives of many – what they want to show you. So stop building insecurities based on that filtered information. 

Read More: A Nuance Look At Social Media and Self-Perception

Nowadays everything is seen through a business lens. In advertisements, companies try to establish that you lack something and market their products to rectify such shortcomings. For example, beauty products are marketed by creating body concerns within you. Be aware of such influences rather than falling to them. 

Anxiety and Depression 

Anxiety or depression further affects your self-confidence. It’s important to follow professional guidelines and work to deal with them.

Why do you build self-confidence? 

Self-confidence will benefit you in several ways: 

• Your self-confidence will lessen your fear and anxiety. It’ll silence your negative inner voice. 
• Self-confidence gives you more intrinsic motivation to take steps. 
• Your confidence to deal with setbacks makes you more resilient. 
• It’ll improve your relationships. 
• You will be in touch with your authentic selves. 

How to Build Self-confidence? 

Now you have a better understanding of self-confidence and where you need to focus. Here are some strategies that you can practice to build self-confidence. 

Identify Your Strengths 

The first thing you need to build self-confidence is acceptance. This means accepting your strengths, weaknesses, and yourself. Accepting your strength doesn’t mean being arrogant or over pride of oneself. It’s simply appreciating own strengths. 

Firstly, try to identify your strengths. What are the things you received compliments for? What are the challenges you overcome? What are the skills you used to enjoy regardless of the task? Think about these in detail and write them down. Focus on how to utilize your strengths productively. Find different opportunities and give your best in them. Boost your confidence through consistent efforts on utilizing your strengths. 

Accept Your Vulnerabilities 

You need to be aware of your weaknesses. Write down the weaknesses you are aware of. What are the things that made you give up in different circumstances? Remember the things you mostly avoid. Think about the feedback you received on your weaknesses. Write them down. Accept your vulnerabilities. The more you ignore them, the more they control you. Accepting does not mean you don’t need to do anything. Understanding them will help you tackle the challenges in life. Practice self-compassion – treat yourself kindly. It’s okay to have imperfections in life but don’t solely focus on them.

Calm Your Body 

Your mind and body are interconnected. The way you treat your body will reflect on your mind too. Practice mindfulness and relaxation exercises. This will help you to be more in the present and relaxed. Try any relaxation exercise regularly. For example, you can practice diaphragmatic breathing exercises as follows: 

1. Inhale and exhale through the nose. 
2. Focus on the way your abdomen expands on each inhale and flattens on each exhale.
3. Slow down your breathing. 
4. Exhale longer than you inhale. For example, if you inhale for 4 seconds, then exhale for 6 seconds. 

Practice this by either lying on the floor or sitting in a chair with one hand on your abdomen. Feel the rise and fall of your abdomen. Practice this twice a day with 5 minutes each. Apart from this, take care of your health by maintaining proper sleep, diet, and physical exercises regularly. 

Practice Gratitude 

Most often people forget about the good things in their life. What are the things you are grateful for in your life? Keep a gratitude journal, and write down each day at least five things you are grateful for. It may be for your health, close ones around you, food, or anything. Make it a habit and reflect on them sometimes. This will help you see the positive things in your life you fail to notice. 

Learn to say thank you to others. Thank others for each small thing they do for you. Let others know how much you’re grateful for them. Research shows practicing gratitude will reduce rumination, increase energy, and contribute to overall happiness. 

Aware of Your Body Language 

Your non-verbal cues can give more messages than your words. Even though you are not aware, your fears are reflected through your body language. Suppose you are perceiving a situation as threatening, then your body will automatically act in that way – either to fight or flight. You may find yourself nervous with shivering, slouching, or folding your arms across your chest. To avoid that keep two key points in mind: 

• Openness: Maintain an open body posture. Sit in a straight posture, don’t slouch, uncross your arms and legs, and avoid fidgeting. Don’t speak in a rush. You can relax yourself by taking a deep breath. 
• Warmth: Studies show that people feel connected to those who seem as warm and friendly. So try to act kind, and friendly. Maintain eye contact, ask questions, and include people. This will lead to a positive impression and less focus on your nervous non-verbal cues.

Ask for feedback from your close ones. You are not always aware of the different non-verbal cues you are showing. So, knowing them will enable you to manage them and appear as more as more confident. 

What You Think Matters 

Low self-confidence is often associated with negative thinking patterns. Thoughts themselves are not the problem, how much importance you give to them affects you. Negative thinking involves “shoulds” (setting inflexible standards), all-or-nothing thinking (thinking in extremes and there is no in-between), catastrophizing (always imagining worst-case scenarios), or letting feelings overpower facts. Observe your thoughts and try to identify such negative patterns. You can break these patterns in several ways: 

• Reframe Your Negative Self Talk: Your assumptions are not always true. Look for evidence to support them if any. Otherwise, assumptions fill the unknown with the worst scenarios. A lot of other good things are also possible. You need to give it a try. 
• Defuse from Thoughts: Don’t believe your all thoughts. Try to observe your thoughts without giving them power. For example, instead of saying “I’m going to fail”, say “I have a thought that I’m going to fail”. This will let you differentiate yourself from your thoughts. 

Through this learn to calm your inner critic. Practicing them will eventually silence your negative inner critic. 

Identify Your Beliefs 

Negative thinking patterns may arise from certain negative core beliefs. Core beliefs are certain principles or assumptions that guide you through life. Common core beliefs include “I don’t belong”, “the world is dangerous”, “I’m a failure” or “I have to be Perfect”. How do we deal with such beliefs? Just question them until you realize it is not true. 

Next time when something negative pops into your mind, just ask yourself “What would happen then? What does that mean?”. Repeat these questions on each of your negative thoughts until you reach your negative core belief. Reframe them with positive core beliefs. Find evidence from your life to support the new positive core beliefs. 

Face Your Fears 

Fear is a normal part of life that helps you to plan and prepare for threats. You need to work on the fears that are irrational or exaggerated. Firstly, identify your fears and list them. Rate each of them based on your intensity of fear (for example, from 1 to 10). Arrange them from the least fearful to the most fearful.

Begin with the least one. Find an opportunity to tackle that fear and give it a try. Remember not to begin with too much risk. Make it safe and less risky. After you become comfortable with this level, move on to the next, and so on. You can use your relaxation exercises when you become nervous. Let the fear subside. This is for common mild-level fears. If you are diagnosed with phobia or other clinical conditions, then seek professional support and follow their guidelines. 

SMART Goals 

Now you have a more clear idea about your strengths and interests. Set goals according to them. Make them SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Be specific about your goals. Break them down into small steps and appreciate yourself for each success. Make the goals measurable – how will you know when you have reached them? Then, think about whether it is achievable for you.

Your goals must be realistic. Don’t go for unrealistic superficial goals. That will again lower your self-confidence. Think about the relevance of your goals. Your goals need to achieved within a certain time. So fix an approximate time to reach your goal. 

For example, 

S – I will engage in a new social activity. 

M – I will join one new group or attend one event each month. 

A – I will use online platforms and asks friends for suggestion. 

R – Interacting with new people will help me build confidence in social situations.

T – I will attend 3 event over the next three months. 

Learn Something New 

Based on the understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, try to learn something new. It helps you to be more curious, engaging, and energetic. You will develop a growth mindset through this. Make it a daily habit. You don’t need to plan big, begin with small skills. For example, learning a new skill, reading on a new topic, or learning a new language. Plan that align with your interests. Try to make it SMART. A growth mindset let you more productive. They facilitate your coping with the challenges in life. You feel competent, resourceful, and more self-confident through achieving each. 

Conclusion 

Building self-confidence is a continuous process. It’s okay to have fears. You have to accept your vulnerabilities and practice self-compassion. Identify your strengths and use them in a productive way. Don’t compare your weaknesses with others highlights. Everyone has their own imperfections. You only see what others show you. The other side is hidden. 

Be your own motivation. Focus on your physical and mental health. Let your thoughts flow without getting obsessed on them. Take the courage to face your fears. It’s not about always having a confident mind, it’s more about taking the small steps and tackling them. You can boost your self-confidence through continuous efforts. 

FAQs 

1. Can Self-confidence be learned or improved? 

Yes, self-confidence can be learned and strengthened through practice, positive habits, intentional efforts, such as setting small goals, learning new skills, and practicing self-compassion. 

2. What are the Common barriers to Self-confidence? 

These include fear of failure, self-doubt, negative self-talk, past mistakes, perfectionism, and lack of preparation or skills. 

3. Does Self-confidence means being arrogant? 

No, self-confidence is about believing in yourself while respecting others. Arrogance involves an inflated sense of self-importance and often disregards others’ opinions or feelings. 

4. How long does it take to build Self-confidence? 

Building self-confidence varies from person to person and depends on factors like consistency, personal effort, and depth of underlying issues. With regular practice, noticeable improvement can happen within weeks or months. 

5. How can I help someone else build their self-confidence? 

Encourage them to focus on their strengths, celebrate their achievements, provide constructive feedback, and be supportive. Helping them set and achieve small goals can also boost their confidence gradually.